Counting the cost
This past weekend I spent time putting my "house" in order. The floors were scrubbed, the carpet vacuumed, everything put in it's place. At around 10:30 p.m. Sunday night, I got the notion into my head to redo my photo wall. While looking through pictures I came across a set of photos from my last days at the Focus on the Family Institute in Colorado Springs. One of the classes at the Institute was on marriage, and with every lesson, our professors filled in the blanks of a huge list pasted in front of the class.
At the end of the semester, being the self-proclaimed dork that I am, I took a picture of the list. In fact, I took several pictures of the list, to make sure that I got the whole thing. These were the pictures I found Sunday night. At the top of the list, our dear professors had written, "Marriage; Very Big Ideas." The list was 10 points long.
I put the list on my photoboard. Next to it I tacked on a photo of my parents, who are somewhere in the middle of their third decade of marital togetherness. In one corner I put up a photo of Bob and Pat Miller. I met the Millers two summers ago when I was working with a sports ministry camp. I stayed at their house in Muscatine, Iowa, for the week. In-between stuffing me with delicious cakes and scrumptuous breakfasts, they told me about their lives and their walk with God. They were 80-years-old, and they got married when they were 20. They were getting ready to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary... It was so much fun to watch them. Every time Pat would tell me a story, Bob would make some off-hand remark, and she would stop and just giggle. A smile crept on my face as I thought, "60 years of doing life together... And he still makes her laugh."
Somewhere on the board is a photo of my bosses' family. They have been married for 17 years and are still very much in the middle of raising their kids, who are 13 and 10.
It occurs to me that I have picked an overdone and maybe touchy subject matter. I don't plan to spend the rest of this time giving insight as to how to best tackle the raging waters of marital conquest. I won't wax philosophical. For many of us, this issue is personal, and sensitive. Because it would seem that the world around us is sizing us up and saying, "This is the next step. You're the right age. Get in line."
And that puts us in the spotlight. And the spotlight means pressure to perform. You know what that's like.
I was on the interstate one afternoon when my god-mother called me out of the blue. A woman I have come to admire, she was in the country going to visit her son. I had last seen her two years ago. The ever watchful godmother, she wanted to know about my work, plans for school, church, friends. She paused, as if for effect, then said, "So, what about marriage?"
I almost veered off the road, then chuckled and said, "WHAT about marriage?" She replied, "Are you thinking about it?" Hehe. What do you say to that? "Nah. Haven't thought about it one bit." For her to hear something like that from me would have been a license to lecture.
In one amusing discussion, my mother laid out for me a list of things that she felt my future groom cannot be or have. I'll spare you the details. This gracious and beautiful Nigerian woman was firm in her conviction that I would not end up the stereotypical "old maid," for lack of a better phrase.
So, my culture, my family, my friends, my self, expects me to get married. It may be the same for you.
FFI did well to strip away my illusions of marriage. It did well to paint me a realistic picture of what I would be doing to step into the matrimonial bond. And I was grateful, because up until then my illusions and reality could not very well do the tango.
While all this illusion-stripping was going on, I was also learning other things as well, things about my heart and the path that Abba was carving for me to take. It was not the path I was expecting to find when I got to Focus, and it took me by surprise. I sat in my favorite professor's office and doubted, and questioned, but at the end of the day there was only confirmation.
My professor always scribbled scripture and notes while we were talking, and after one such visit, he had written the scripture Isaiah 40:31. Underneath, he wrote the phrase, "Eagles fly high, and they often fly alone."
There are many ways to interpret his phrase, and during my time at Focus and afterward I began to consider the implications of following through with where I felt Abba was leading me.
And one of those implications was the possibility of committing to a life of singlehood.
I despaired over it, came to grips with it, then despaired all over again. I read scripture. I prayed. I thought it was the worst thing. I thought it was the coolest thing. I thought too much.
I posed the question to my professor, and in his wisdom he simply said, "If God is calling you to a life of singleness, I believe he will make it clear to you, and he will give you the peace you need to walk it out."
In Genesis 2:18, "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'"
I noted that God, not Adam, was the one who said it was not good for man to be alone.
And I wondered, what if God looks down at me and says, "It is good for her to stay alone until I finish this in her, or until she walks through that door..." I think I would be fine with that.
But what if he simply said, "It is good for her to be alone" and left it at that?
Would I be willing to lay aside the "good" that is marriage, to follow Abba?
Right under the marriage list I tacked on a photo of yours truly. I am in class at FFI. My head is on the desk, resting on my left arm. I am holding a pen in my other hand, poised to write. My eyes are closed. To the untrained eye, it would appear that I am sleeping.
These are the days of Elijah
Declaring the Word of the Lord
And these are the days of your servant Moses
Righteousness being restored
And though these are days of great trials
Of famine and darkness and sword
Still we are the voice in the desert crying
Prepare ye the way of the Lord!
Behold He comes! Riding on the clouds!
Shining like the sun! At the trumpet call
Lift your voice! It's the year of Jubilee!
And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!
And these are the days of Ezekiel
The dry bones becoming as flesh
And these are the days of your servant David
Rebuilding a temple of praise
And these are the days of the harvest
The fields are as white in the world
And we are the labourers in your vineyard
Declaring the word of the Lord!
Behold He comes! Riding on the clouds!
Shining like the sun! At the trumpet call
Lift your voice! It's the year of Jubilee!
And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!
There's no God like Jehovah!
There's no God like Jehovah!
There's no God like Jehovah!
There's no God like Jehovah!
Elijah
James 5:16 -18: Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.
Moses
Exodus 33: 11: The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent.
Exodus 33: 17-18: And the LORD said to Moses, "I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name." Then Moses said, "Now show me your glory."
Ezekiel
Ezekiel 37: 3-7: He asked me, "Son of man, can these bones live?" I said, "O Sovereign LORD, you alone know." Then he said to me, "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, 'Dry bones, hear the word of the LORD! This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD.' " So I prophesied as I was commanded...
David
Acts 13: 22-23: After removing Saul, he made David their king. He testified concerning him: 'I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.' "From this man's descendants God has brought to Israel the Savior Yeshua, as he promised.”
You?
Is it yet time?
Haggai2: 1-7
"On the twenty-first day of the seventh month, the word of the LORD came through the prophet Haggai: "Speak to Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, to Joshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest, and to the remnant of the people."
The people of Judah have just returned to their land after 70 years of exile in Bablyon. The Kingdom of Judah fell to King Nebudchadnezzer some 80 years after the Kingdom of Israel fell to the Assyrian empire. Nebud. sacks Jerusalem and completely destroys the temple. While Judah is in exile the Persian kingdom takes over from the Babylonians, and Cyrus the Persian becomes King. God moves the heart of Cyrus to allow the people of Judah to return to Jerusalem and build the temple (2 Chron. 36:23) The people return and start rebuilding their own houses because they say, "The time has not yet come for the Lord's house to be rebuilt." But God speaks through Haggai to ask them why they are living in paneled houses while His house remains in ruins. And it says that the Lord "stirred" up the spirit of Zerubbabel and Joshua and the remnant who returned to start building the temple.
Does this apply to us? Are we so busy building our own houses that we keep telling ourselves, "The time has not yet come for the Lord's house to be rebuilt." For what does Paul say in Corinthians? "For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."
The church has been in exile for a long time. At least, that's what it feels like to me. The Lord is bringing back his remnant. He is stirring the spirits of modern Zerubbabels and Joshuas. But if we believe we are the remnant, we cannot choose to first build our own houses before putting our strength into the task of ushering Gods Kingdom in.
Haggai continues,"Ask them,'Who of you is left who saw this house in its former glory? How does it look to you now? Does it not seem to you like nothing? But now be strong, O Zerubbabel,' declares the LORD. 'Be strong, O Joshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest. Be strong, all you people of the land,' declares the LORD, 'and work. For I am with you,' declares the LORD Almighty. 'This is what I covenanted with you when you came out of Egypt. And my Spirit remains among you. Do not fear.'"
The prophet Zechariah, who is a contemporary of Haggai, and whose prophecies start two months after Haggai's, says, "You who now hear these words spoken by the prophets who were there when the foundation was laid for the house of the Lord Almighty, let your hands be strong so that the temple may be built." (Zech. 8:9)
Imagine the remnant of Judah looking at the ruins of the temple. The task ahead of them must have seemed insurmountable. Overwhelming. Look at the church. "Who of you is left who saw this house in its former glory?" Look at what the world thinks of us, what we sometimes think of ourselves. "How does it look to you now? Does it not seem to you like nothing?"
Yet we have heard the words spoken by "the prophets who were there when the foundation was laid..." We know the end of the story. God tells the remnant of Judah, "Be strong. Work. For I am with you." In the same way Messiah tells his disciples as he is leaving, 'Go. Disciple others. Teach.' "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
Haggai continues: "This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'In a little while I will once more shake the heavens and the earth, the sea and the dry land. I will shake all nations, and the desired of all nations will come, and I will fill this house with glory,' says the LORD Almighty.
Zechariah lays out this prophecy in more detail, and through him God tells the people that another day will come when he will "gather all the nations to Jerusalem to fight against it."
Zech 12:3 says, "On that day, when all the nations of the earth are gathered against her, I will make Jerusalem an immovable rock for all the nations." In Chapter 14, Zechariah says "Then the Lord will go out and fight against those nations, as he fights in the day of battle. On that day his feet will stand on the Mount of Olives, east of Jerusalem, and the Mount of Olives will be split in two from east to west, forming a great valley, with half the mountain moving north and half moving south."
After the shaking of that last battle, "The Lord will be king over the whole earth. On that day there will be one Lord, and his name the only name."
The Lord tells us to build the temple, and despite the fact that it now lies in ruins, to rebuild the temple. For one day, he will return to establish his Kingdom and wipe out every power that seeks to destroy the temple of the Living God.
Are we convinced? Are we still saying, "No. we will build our houses, our temples, first." Or are we rebuilding with a passionate longing, an intense desire, for the promises that we are given in God's word to those who hope in HaShem Adonai, the Name of the Lord.
As for the enemies of Jerusalem, Zechariah says, "Their flesh will rot while they are still standing on their feet, their eyes will rot in their sockets, and their tounges will rot in their mouths."
And when the wicked have been taken out of the way, "Then the survivors from all the nations that have attacked Jerusalem will go up year after year to worship the King, the Lord Almighthy, and to celebrate the Feast of Tabernacles."
And God will fill his house, his temple, his dwelling place, with his shekinah glory, that the world may know that the Lord Our God, the God of Israel, reigns. But it starts with our willingness, as the remnant, to put aside our quest for glory, and rebuild the temple where God lives.
"Shema Y'israel, Adonai Elohaynu, Adonai Echad. Baruch Shem k'vod malkhuto l'olam vaed."
Hear (Listen) O Israel, the Lord Our God, the Lord is One. Blessed be the Name of His glorious kingdom forever and ever.
Is it yet time for the Lord's house to be rebuilt?
Hello fellow mumsers...
As I was writing my byline earlier I smiled to myself. Have you ever known what it feels like to be nothing? I think this story is in order to set the stage and give you an idea of where I'd like to come from, of the perspective I'd like to have.
I smiled to myself writing that description because it reminded me of a story I heard recently about Timothy. Some of you have heard this story, so bear with me. Ray Vander Laan told this when he came to West Point.
On his first missionary journey, Paul heads to the town of Lystra, a small town literally "in the sticks." There is nothing there. He goes there, and heals the sick. The people think he is a god and bow to him. He stops them and explains about Messiah. Then some Jews from Antioch come and stone him outside the city. After he is stoned, he goes back into the city, then leaves for Derbe.
A while later he returns to Lystra, then leaves. He returns again on his next missionary journey.
In the meantime, there is a family in Lystra, a grandmother, mother, and son. The grandmother is Lois. The mother is Eunice. They are Jewish. The story goes that somehow or the other, Eunice gets pregnant by a Greek man. She has a son, and names him Timothy.
Timothy is half-Jew, half-Greek. As a result,, no rabbi will circumcise him. He cannot play with the other Jewish kids. He cannot go to Torah school. He cannot become a talmud, or disciple, of any rabbi because he is a "mumser". He cannot even enter the temple to worship. And so he grows up with this label. The kids make fun of him. "My mom said your mom did something bad. That's why you can't come to Torah school with us. You're a mumser."
Have you ever known what it feels like to be nothing?
But somehow, Eunice teaches Timothy Torah. Somehow he learns and memorizes the Law. Maybe he sat far away and listened to the rabbis when they read Torah out loud. I don't know. But he learned.
So Paul comes to Lystra. On his first two missionary journeys he does not make a single disciple. He may have been wondering why he keeps being sent back to this nothingsville place. I don't know.
The story continues that Timothy must have seen Paul come and go. He may have seen Paul's determination when he returns to the city right after he has been stoned. What did he think? Did he think, "I like this man. He does not give up."
He may or may not have heard Pauls intense sermon when he said that in Christ, there is no Jew or Gentile, no man or woman, no Syrian or Greek. Did Timothy ask himself, "Is there a mumser?"
And so one day, as the story goes, Paul is looking for a disciple in Lystra. He may have asked the rabbi for some students to recommend. Somehow he notices Timothy. "What about him?" he asks. The rabbi shakes his head.. "That's a sad story.. You see, he's a mumser."
In an incredulous voice the rabbi continues, "But he knows Torah." Paul replies, "A mumser who knows Torah? Oy vey!"
He walks over.
"Are you Timothy?"
"Yeah."
"I'm Paul"
"I know"
And then Paul says, "Follow me. Be my talmud."
What would you give to have been a fly on the wall at that moment? I can imagine Timothy, his eyes growing wide with tears, his mouth hanging open.
For, you see, here was a boy who knew what it felt like to be nothing.
He breaks world records to get home. "Ima! Rabbi Paul thinks I can be like him! He wants me! Ima, he wants ME..."
From his letters, we see that Paul calls Timothy, "My true son." He encourages him, "Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of scripture, to preaching and to teaching."
What can Abba do with a man, with a woman, who knows what it feels like to be nothing?
Fellow mumsers, I submit to you, do not neglect your gift. Do not forget that Rabbi Yeshua Messiah has come and said to you, "Follow me. Be my talmud."
For Abba's favor is more precious than life.
Well, I have no clue if this will work, but here goes. What do we gain by putting our thouhts into words? And what is it that inside of us, hopes that someone will come across our words, read them, and be inspired?
